The Path to my Heart
by Handy-for-the-bus
Summary: Set after Anna tells Mr Bates she loves him. Series 1 ep 5.


**A/N: **Thank you my Twin Beef, a-lady-to-me, for the suggestions and help. Love you xxx

**Disclaimer: **DA and Banna belong to Julian Fellowes.

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If the path had a crack big enough for Anna to hide, she wouldn't think twice.

As she walked behind the wagon she could feel her cheeks going red, and all she could do was drop her gaze to the floor.

Anna had just told Mr Bates that she loved him, and it would have been so much easier if they had resumed their walk side by side, instead of having him staring at her while sitting on that wagon.

There he was, as if nothing could shake him down. As if he was some big personality with nothing to fear, and nothing to hide.

She could feel his eyes burning into her, and she looked up against her will. He was still staring, and as she faced him she noticed that he was smiling. The smile that he had given to her when he climbed into the wagon was still playing on his features, as if it was fueled by her.

_And perhaps it was_, she thought. Perhaps she was the one thing that made him smile so tenderly. She dropped her head again, and silently she prayed to God that she was right. She wanted to be the reason for his happiness, even though she hadn't any right.

He was married. Taken. He belonged to someone else that was not her. She sighed her sadness away trying to rip it out of her chest, but nothing could be done. She would be forever sad at the fact that she would never be Mrs John Bates.

She looked up at him once again, and as soon as she faced him he chuckled. He was farther now, but she could still see the lovely way his eyes crinkled at the sides.

She loved him so. It was like she was mad. She found herself thinking about this mysterious man at every second of her day. It was like some wicked witch had cast a spell on her to punish her for something that she did, but couldn't remember. How could it be fair to a girl like her; from a good working family with high morals and values to fall in love with a married man who she barely knew. Indeed it was a spell, a wicked one, but at the same time the best; for being in love with John Bates was also so wonderful. Everything he did, or said...even the way he sighed made her heart race. The way he looked at her made her unable to breathe for longer than was good for her. The way he walked, even his limp, made him so very special, and even though he had his cane as his loyal companion, he was so very tall and handsome.

Daisy and Liv were always talking about it while the other kitchen maids smiled in agreement. Mr Bates was a romantic figure, as if he had jumped from some very old fairytale. So very noble and gentle. So very beautiful.

Anna sighed again, but this time a content sigh.

Looking slightly up to be sure he was still staring at her, she noticed that all her thoughts had made the way much faster, and she looked up fully to take in the sight of the house where the flower show was held.

She saw Mr Bates jumping down from the wagon, and adjusting his coat and hat. He shook some hay from his coat and trousers, and when she was less than a foot from him he turned around to face her and smiled.

'For once in your life you hadn't to slow down your step to match mine.' He said, looking at her tenderly.

'It's always a pleasure to do so, Mr Bates.' She replied, looking down.

He could feel she was embarrassed, and his heart sunk to the floor. That was the last thing he wanted, but he had to tell her the truth. His heart belonged to her so completely that it was impossible to fool her. He couldn't hide it anymore.

'Anna,' he looked around them to make sure they were alone. 'I don't want you to feel constrained. I want you to be the Anna you always are. I hope this won't change things.'

She looked up at him with unshed tears burning in her eyes.

'We can't have more than what we have, but that doesn't mean we have to have less.' he said.

'You belong to your wife, Mr Bates. I don't want to...'

'By law, but not in my heart,' Bates looked down at her hands that were holding at her bag strap. In a bold motion he reached for them, and caressed her knuckles gently. Anna's eyes widened and she gasped at the warmth of his touch. 'My heart belongs to someone else...' he said smiling tenderly.

They stared at the each other, both taking in what he had just said.

'When a man is proud of his wife and loves her, he wants the whole world to know.' He said slowly. 'We should go in.' He said, taking his hat off and walking in.

Anna stood outside for a moment. No one knew he had a wife. She knew this because Mrs Hughes had asked her one day if she knew about his family. Mrs Hughes knew he had a mother but no more than that.

If he loved his wife he would be living with her. It had been two years since he came to Downton, two years away from her. Two years living as a single man without husbandly responsibilities.

Anna smiled. He didn't love her anymore. Perhaps they had grown tired of each other. Perhaps she was wicked and he couldn't stand her. Perhaps she was a very jealous woman, and he had no patience. Perhaps….perhaps Mr Bates wasn't easy to live with as a husb...no. Of course he was. Anna remembered her mother's words. 'Every man is good until he starts giving you his clothes to wash.'

Anna giggled. Oh my! What kind of spell was she under that she thought him perfect?!

A spell that she prayed would never go away. A spell that she would happily live under for the rest of her life...only if she could have him the way she wanted.

The fact was, he didn't love his wife. Of course he didn't. Therefore she had a chance. Divorce was not common but the world was changing. Perhaps, who knows, he loved her enough to go through it? She looked up to the heavens and begged God for that to be the case. She knew Mr Bates cared for her, and all she wanted and asked for was for him to feel half of what she felt for him.

She heard people talking and clapping. She was going to miss the whole thing!

As she entered the building she saw Mr Bates, standing tall in the distance. He looked back at her and smiled, nodding his head.

That was it. He knew she loved him so she didn't have to pretend. There was one thing Anna was proud of, and that was her courage. She was not much but she was brave.

Walking towards him with a smile on her face, she felt her confidence reborn as strong as ever.

'I've saved you a spot,' he said, smiling down at her as she approached him.

'Thank you, Mr Bates. I wouldn't be able to see a thing from behind there.' She smiled back at him.

He nodded, and they were shaken from their thoughts by the clapping, and quickly joined in.

As they clapped, they both prayed for some listener above to give them a chance to live this love. Perhaps it would be possible. If their love was strong enough everything was possible.

They looked at each other as the clapping subsided, their eyes spoke more than words.

He loved her, and she wouldn't quit from his love.

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**A/N:** So, I needed this because I've always wondered how Anna and Bates got together in the flower show.

I hope I made it justice.

Please review! xxx


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